If you ever need to bat one back here's how to do it.
I was walking along the cliffs from Bridlington towards Sewerby.
The bloke must have been well into his 80's and saved me and others the trouble of getting involved.
The gent asked a family of 6 if he could sit on the bench they were occupying and straight away they were on him, telling him to fcuk off, there's plenty of others etc etc.
He very politely said he sits on it every day and would it please be possible to have it today but they actually called him a girl private amongst others things and told him it hadn't got his name on it.
No, but it had his wife's name on it and it was 4 years ago today he lost her. You could hear a pin drop as they slunk away.
Pure class old boy, pure class.
Anyone else heard any good retorts?

Yo momma  ;)

I had a dealing with someone through work who was very aggressive and confrontational.  Every time he had a go, I would say sorry what did you say, giving him time to calm down but it only seemed to fuel his anger.  

He then snapped after I had said sorry what did you say and he said "are you fcuking deaf" I said yeah a bit but that comes with being in the Forces for 22 years.  His face was a picture and he completely changed his attitude.

He ended up apologising for his attitude but little does he know how close he was to getting punched in the throat.

When I was an apprentice working on the muti storey flats ( which are about to be pulled down )

One bricklayer was different to the other workers,

Instead of giving the girls a whistle he would shout " ugly "

Until one nice dockworker turned round and said,

" You are not so fooking beautiful "

He never shouted it again.

Quoted from GYinScuntland

If you ever need to bat one back here's how to do it.
I was walking along the cliffs from Bridlington towards Sewerby.
The bloke must have been well into his 80's and saved me and others the trouble of getting involved.
The gent asked a family of 6 if he could sit on the bench they were occupying and straight away they were on him, telling him to fcuk off, there's plenty of others etc etc.
He very politely said he sits on it every day and would it please be possible to have it today but they actually called him a girl private amongst others things and told him it hadn't got his name on it.
No, but it had his wife's name on it and it was 4 years ago today he lost her. You could hear a pin drop as they slunk away.
Pure class old boy, pure class.
Anyone else heard any good retorts?

Not sure I have any clever retorts to report, but I know that clifftop path bewtween Brid and Sewerby and those benches well!

Whenever I visit Brid, I'm always struck how it makes Cleethorpes seem like Cannes in comparison! Nice walk from Sewerby to Brid, mind, especially at low tide when you can walk along the beach.

Call an 0800 number and tell someone who gives a sh it

Many years ago while I was working with this old Bricklayer who was doing an awkward job,

Which was taking a lot longer time to do than planned,

He was called into the office and the boss said to him " Mr Moore you are getting slower "

To which he replied " So is Mr Bannister "

"Who is Mr Bannister " ?  the boss said,

To which my old mate replied,  

" He could run a mile in under 4 minutes once but he can not do it now "  ;D