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Mighty Mariner Week 4

By: The Mighty Mariner
Date: 13/09/2000

This week the Mighty Mariners sees Grimsby Town win for the first time as a mascot. In order to improve his fitness he joins the Town squad for training, and soon realises how hard it is! The week ends with a petrol crisis and Mighty is struggling to get to work on time.

The Mighty Mariner's Weekly Diary

Tues 5th SepAway at Carlisle tonght for the second leg league cup game and we drew 1-1 which isn't bad with Mr Lennie still finding his feet. Wonder who we'll draw next. Hope its a decent club. Newcastle would be good but knowing us it'll be Macclesfield.
Weds 6thTough day at work. The boss asked if I was feeling well and said he thought I looked tired this last month. Daren't tell him about the mariners job cos he'll go potty. We aren't allowed extra curricular activities. Anyway we drew Wolves in the cup which is OK though I hold out little hope for success.
Thurs 7thDecided to heed the bosses advice and perk myself up so went to BP today (my day off) to train with the lads. I managed about 20 minutes to their 3 hours. All these experts who say the town team aren't fit want to get down here. I met our triallist Goalie too. Jason Batty is a BIG guy. He wanted a go in the mighty mariner outfit but I wouldn't let him in case he split it.
Fri 8thBig game tomorrow against Gillingham. I'm quite excited because it's Lennie's first home game. Of course the poor bloke is getting moaned at already in net-mails for talking too much whereas Buckley was moaned at for not talking. I guess footie managers can't win whatever they do (unless it's to win the game!! ha-hah). Meantime went out on the razz and had 14 pints of bitter. Does this mean I can be leader of the conservative party?
Sat 9thOh God my head. Bloody Boddingtons bitter should be banned. I can't believe I drank all that knowing I have to run around today. I must be mad. 4 coffees and a peanut butter sarnie later there I was stood in a half empty bundell park. I was just thinking when are the crowd gonna appear and the whistle went to start the game. I'd hardly got off to the lower smiths changing room when Livvo scored. Brilliant. At this rate we'll score a dozen....( jumps ahead to end of game) yeah Okay then but it WAS a win.
Sun 10thWhat was I saying about managers? Lennie gets us a win. First for ages and people say he had us playing crap. Well I thought it was OK, then again I'm trying to look through a foam mouth that's got a bit of black gauze at the back and the temperature in the suit is about 110F. The girlfriend asked me what I wear under the suit and I have to admit, it stared as t-shirt and trousers but is now just a pair of underpants. Its too hot for anything else. I don't need the undies really but I don't trust this foam and imagine the scandal if it split in the centre circle and mighty mariners fishing tackle fell out! Trying to dash off the pitch would not be easy. Trying to poke it back in with foam fingers 2 inches thick wouldn't help. Ooooh I shudder even now at the thought.
Mon 11thOnly just got to work today. No bloody petrol to be had. some lorry drivers thing apparently. Its for our benefit though I'm told, to highlight how we are upset at high fuel bills. Well that's true enough except our boss says we cant miss work through having no fuel and anyone missing for that reason is going to have to take a holiday. Great. My benefit eh. This'll knacker the crowd for tomorrow Bolton game I bet. It's my second biggest fixture after Sheff Weds. Quite looking forward to it. There's some foreign blokes arriving today too on trial. It's all go here you know.

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