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Cod Widow's Diary Week 1

By: Chez Osborne
Date: 24/09/2000

Long-suffering Chez Osborne, wife of Nick, tells the tale of the week she has had to endure as a Cod Widow. Times can be hard and Nick stretches her patience to the full on occasions as his priorities in life differ widely from her expectations of them!

Diary of a Cod Widow

Tues 19th Sep 5:50pmI am just going to my sister's, got the kids in the car, chucking the cat out and locking up. The phone rings, "what now"' me thinks. It's him (Nicko). Just heard there's gonna be a pitch inspection for the game, can you put it on the net for me. Wait, I'll ring you back. Phone rings again, it's him again with some sorry tail of a 4 car smash that happened when he phoned the first time. Nowt to do with me though he says. Did you put it on the net he asks. No, I told him. He sounded a bit miffed, but then he always does when he can't get to a game.

Anyway, I put it on the list for him, he didn't know till he came home from work, hehehe. That'll teach him that my life does not revolve around the "club" or the PC.

Weds 20thJust getting up for work and getting kids ready for school. Oh look, there's a message sat next to the PC, can you ring the club and find out what time the game with Scunny is on? Will you wake me in time to go he says. Since when was I his secretary?

Left him in bed, he'll have a fit when he wakes up, late late late, I'm late for the game he squeals, so what, me thinks, it's off I tell him. Oh ok he says.

Sat 23rdSome times I wonder about him. It's match day, home to Forest and he has to work. There's me having a layin and the bloody phone rings at the god awful time of 8-45am.Its him, yes, Saddo himself. No not Hussain but Nicko. I might be home early today darling he says. Oh yes, football is there? Well we can take the kids somewhere then if you're home early. A very miserable OK was his reply. He rings up later to say he might be able to get home for about 12-30ish. Like a bloody big kid he tells me he was hiding behind some trucks in the yard in case the gaffer saw him and gave him more work to do. Strange how he can make it home for footie and not shopping innit?

He takes his mate with him to the game and comes home very miserable. Must have lost then I think. He never said much about the game, but he did start singing a song that Forest sung for about 15 minutes non stop at the end. I never want to hear that song again he says. Then stop singing it then you bloody fool. I'm off out now so sod him. Well at least until next week anyway. He might have his face out of the sports paper by the time I get home. I hate Saturdays.

Cod Widow

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