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Cod Widow's Xmas Review
By: Chez Osborne
My extended break is over folks, so welcome to some more rantings from me about that sad git, are you ready?............Then I'll begin......hehe. For the new year I thought I would start by giving you a review of events in the sadman household over the so called festive period.
Most of its quite sad but what else would you expect living with sadtwat?
Nicko had to work on Xmas eve so was a bit pissed off, he came home tired and we all thought it was going to be a quiet night........................unfortunately for us sadman came to life about 8-OOpm and bored the tits off us with his rantings about how well the 'Town' will or wont do over xmas.
Christmas day and all seems fine,sadman got a shit load of Town stuff, mug, robe, beach towel and some other stuff, me 'n' the girls did ok too.
Dinner was best, (cooked to perfection I might add). Anyway, after dinner we settled down with a glass of wine, Nicola, our eldest kicked mine all over the place. I was well annoyed and to make matters worse sadman started to laugh, so did Nicola. The more I ranted the more they laughed, I was well pissed off by then so I chucked them both out the back and locked the doors.Not so funny now is it sadtwat? I kept him out there for about 2O mins or so in the cold with a tee-shirt on. Who's laughing now saddo?
Boxing day was the day Nicko got well stressed. I have never ever seen the sad git so stressed, it was dead funny, I wish I had took a piccie of him. Mind you, every one who spoke to him or got near him was facing a tirade of abuse and threats of certain death........The reason? He had lost his ticket for the game and he was late going to the Rutland, hehehehehehe. He made us all search every where twice over, his stress levels where by now hitting overload.
The thing is, I had chucked it out, gulp........but there was no way I was going to own up to it, not the mood he was in (snigger snigger). One of the girls mentioned Evo had touched it a few days ago, he went completely barmy, he was going to kill him (amongst other things I darent repeat) GET HIM ON THE PHONE....NOW,he demanded. He (Evo) had gone to Stoke for the day so I couldn't, his head and face nearly exploded when I told him, the poor little luv was fast approaching heart failure when he moved a vase and found the ticket underneath it folded to the size of a stamp.........the twat nearly started bubbling with relief.
New Year's Eve was ruined by the big hard drimking twat called sadman, we went out, he puked and we came home. He wasn't drunk he just wasn't too well. Well tough sh*t I thought, but oh no, sadtwat wants to go home and ruin my night out, the pig. Not to worry though, I'm sure I will get my own back in the coming year.
What galls me is the fact he was well enough to go to football at Sheffield. Funny how he can be ok for footie but not for me to enjoy a night out. I hope you lot give him some stick when you see him.
One other thing, the ticket I threw out? It was for the Birmingham game, God knows what he's gonna do but me and the girls are leaving Town when the time comes.
I will be back soon with the weekly rantings in the sadtwat household.
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