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Cod Widow's Diary Week 23
By: Chez Osborne
MON 5TH MARCH. Why does saddo make me feel like a prison warden? Maybe it's because I am on suicide watch. After the performance against Barnsley I suppose I can understand it. He reckons that it was the worst they had ever played, but what do I know? In fact what do I care?
Shopping is more interesting than footie any day - I reckon some of you fans are thinking that as well after some of the performances this season hehehehehe.
Tues 6th March.
I found out what was bothering the sad git from last week.It was today, not the game with Huddersfield but his birthday. He was FORTY today. He thought we had forgot, but we never. (Happy Birthday you sad twat).
I took him for a surprise meal with some friends and all the ungrateful twat could say all night was 'does this place have a radio'. Christ, he got 1O minutes in the chat room before we went out, what more does he want?
All we got from him was "the meal's fine and the beer with it is fine, thank you". What we got when we got home was disgraceful - he switched on the TV and started singing and dancing again, "we drew we drew" he spouted. After several verses of "We Are Town" I pissed off to bed and left him to it. He is one sad twat. Still, it was his birthday, so I suppose he can enjoy it how he likes.
Wed 7th March.
I shouldn't really let you know how ungrateful Saddo is, but after last night's meal 'n' stuff, do you know what he said? He said a ticket to Huddersfield would have been better. After all the trouble I went to to keep it secret as well. He's in for a good smack round the chops so I'm off to the shops for a new horse shoe for the boxing gloves. (We'll see how he likes that).
Not much singing from him this morning. He has read all the reports and thinks the 'Wolves' game will be a real test. A real test? Does he mean it will be a hard game? I hate it when he uses those football terms. Still,at least he only takes it one game at a time (hehehe).
He picked up his new car today, like a big kid he is. Am I allowed to drive it? Like hell I am. What he thinks I will do to it is beyond me, it's alright for me to drive him to the pub or the Rutland though. Do you know what his excuse is? He says if he runs it for a while he will pick up on any faults it might have, he must think I'm thick! I know damn well when it needs fuel...............that's when I get out of it and get back in my Peugeot..hehehe.
Fri 9th March.
Saddo's on nights so has spent much of today in bed.I owe him an apology really. I went off to work and for some reason I left the alarm clock active. It kept him awake for ages, sorry sad twat, didn't mean it - can I drive the car now?
Sat 1Oth March.
Matchday. Home to Wolves, the one he said would be hard. He gets up and finds a house full (again), he ain't too pleased and I decide to clear off out shopping (its safer for me, hehe).
Not too bad this week though, he's well chuffed when they all clear off and he can have time in chat on the Fishy, looks like a house full would have been more fun sadman,you got hammered O-2 it says here (I'm reading the sports paper)
Looks like the 'samaritans'will be having a busy 'run-in' to the end of the season.......hehehehehe.(well it made me chuckle).
Anyway ,time to go.
Cya next week,
Its that "I wish I hadn't said that" moment:
This weeks effort actually comes from a mate of Nicko's, (Kenny Young, he reads this at work and shouldn't be doing, in case you missed it the other week Mr 'Boss man', it's the same 'Kenny' that does the naff all shift at Ciba's.)
Anyway, he and his girlfreind were driving down the motorway when a big flashy brand new car passes them towing a caravan. She says 'look at them flash gits with a 'Y' regd car..............bloody hell,the rich b*******s have got a 'Y' regd caravan as well.....DOH!
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