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Cod Widow's Diary Week 25
By: Chez Osborne
MON 19TH MARCH. I don't believe it, sadman's finally lost the plot. He's yelling abuse at the computer: "Coynes crap, the team are crap, even Scunny are better than us" he's saying. I have no idea what's got into him, after a great result against QPR as well.
He was looking at pictures of the players and singing "your sh*t and you know you are". These are his heroes as well. He's even laughing to himself while he sings. I am quite worried for him, I know he has been under a lot of pressure at work of late. Maybe it's getting to him, either way ,he's going off the deep end.
Tues 2Oth March.
RIGHT YOU SAD LITTLE TWAT, you might as well pack your bags now you stupid sad git, this really is the last straw. After being really worried about him I finally found out what was going on. In the chat room for the QPR game, some was saying we was crap then we went and won. Someone had the bright idea of slagging the team off in the hope it make them win again. Strange logic I know, but that's what he was doing. It's just a pity sadman didn't let me know what was going on, I was genuinely concerned, even the kids thought he was mad (mind you, he probably is).
Wed 21st March.
Saddo's singing again..........'one Nostradamus, there's only one Nostradamus, one nostradaaaaaaaamusssssssssss'.......... Reckon he's off on one again. He pommed 1-1 with Pouton to score. You'd think he had never got it right before, mind you, I don't think he has. He was at work for the game and I had to be on standby in case he phoned and wanted me to put the phone next to the radio so he could listen to the game. Now that's sad. He managed to get it on 5 live so at least he left us alone. Thank heaven for small mercies I say.
Thurs 22nd March.
I am getting suspicious of Nicko, I think he has been sleeping around, and I also know who with. It's that slag 'Karencam' Evo's wife. How do I know? Well Karen was here the other day with their little boy Jay (6 months old). Nicko was playing with him and Jay called him daddy, not once but twice. Now that's what I call proof. Evo was gutted he missed it, he was at work. Nicko said that's nothing, he was at work when he was conceived as well.
Fri 23rd march.
Sadmans been getting hate mail (well sort of). Christine Bingley couldn't believe he got the pom right (her aim is to beat him in the pom table). He says you have no chance Chrissie. Even Jostein has been at it. Though to be fair, he was taking the pee I think. He wanted the lotto numbers as well. Better off sticking to mailing that awful brown cheese around the world Jos.
Sat 24th March.
No match today, he's gutted about it being switched .He's been working rather a lot of late and this would have been his first game for a while. Sent him shopping with the girls instead. He even missed the England game (shame innit saddo, hahahahaha).
Thats it for this week.
Its that 'I don't believe I said that moment'
When Billo was over, he and Nick where talking about computers. One was using IE5 and the other IE5. Not really knowing what they where on about, I said "was that the Australian version of grecian 2OOO".DOH!
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