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Lennie Where's Yer Troosers?

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 29/07/2001

A HOT, HOT DAY by the Humber, fortunately the "Grimsby wind" was still around to cool the 2,000-ish crowd, around 60-70 being St Mirren supporters. Jevons was not easy to spot as he is an identikit Town player - we all thought he was Jeffrey until Jeffrey kept missing in the pre-match kickabout.

Home > 2001-2002 Season > Reports > St Mirren (h)

Grimsby Town 0 St Mirren 0
28 Jul 2001, Pre-Season Friendly

By a process of elimination, Jevons was the number 9. And Willems has done something strange with his hair, a bad bleach job that makes him look like a huge seagull has flown overhead and, shall we say, commented appropriately.

St Mirren turned up in Arsenal's kit with some very tall players, especially the number 2. And as for the number 11 (Yardley), he looked like the player every pub team has - once good, gone paunchy. Very paunchy. Very, very paunchy. The crowd were pleasantly surprised by the inclusion of Jose Quitongo, whose hair bounced and flounced to all parts of the compass. According to the programme they had Scott Walker at no. 6 (he did make it easy on himself) and Scott McKenzie at no. 8 (unfortunately he didn't play with flowers in his hair).

Town lined up in a 4-4-2 formation. The Pontoon groaned its first groan of the season 30 seconds before kick off when we realised that Butterfield was in centre midfield (with Coldicott). Pouton was banished to the right wing with Campbell back on the left.

Grimsby Town


Burnett60 mins
Willems75 mins
Rowan65 mins

The new Town kit is going to be horrendous in winter. When they had their backs towards us they were very difficult to see as the shorts and socks are as black as the back of the shirts.

St Mirren seemed to line up in a 4-3-1-2 formation with Quitongo floating around the front two.

1st half

Town kicked off away from the Pontoon and were rotten for 30 minutes. St Mirren took Town apart at will, regularly finding space, and a spare man, in the Town box. They couldn't shoot at all, which was lucky. Within 2 minutes they had sent a man free down the left after Gallimore and Cambell ambled. Raven started like he did last season, totally uncoordinated and slow. Even McDermott seemed lacklustre. There were holes all over the defence and the midfield rarely tracked back with their markers. All in all a depressing start. Jevons and Allen looked like strangers and it took all of 15 minutes for someone to describe Jevons as a "slightly better Jeffrey". That wasn't a compliment.

In the first 10 minutes Coldicott chipped a long ball over the defence and sent Jevons free, on the edge of the area in the centre. He chested the ball down, drifted to the left and shot against the on-rushing 'keeper. Apart from a couple of long shots from Campbell, Town did nothing for the next 20 minutes, rarely stringing two passes together and rarely moving. The centre of midfield was completely absent and there were a lot of aimless long-ish balls. Jevons did not look like someone who thrives on long balls.

St Mirren had about 5 opportunities in the first half hour, generally shooting wildly from the edge of the area. They did force Coyne to make a save when the ball was curled in from their right, about 20 yards out and one of their tall players headed firmly to Coyne's left. No problems for Coyne, who sailed majestically across his goal and caught the ball.

Then, after 30 minutes, Pouton tired of the nonsense and drifted into the centre. He then embarked on three separate surges with triple super-dooper step-overs. It created danger and, wow, shots and crosses. For the next 15 minutes Town gained the initiative with Pouton central (quite literally) to the Town resurgence. Even Raven got in on the fun by dribbling forward, and forward, and forward. He got to the edge of the St Mirren area and panicked. He passed out to the right to Jevons who shimmied and curled a left foot shot just wide of the 'keeper's right hand post. In the last minute of the half a Town passing move down the left resulted in Pouton being set free on the right corner of the penalty area. He slammed in a fierce shot to the near post which the 'keeper spectacularly parried out for a corner. Anything else? Well Pouton tricked his way down the right , played in McDermott who crossed to the near post where Jevons only just failed to get in front of a defender.

Half time: Grimsby Town 0 St Mirren 0

Dull, poor, should have been two down, then Pouton tired of his exile on the right and St Mirren couldn't cope.

Stu's Pre-Season Half Time Toilet Talk

"Have they put new lagging on these pipes?".
"Oi Mark, wash your hands".
"We'd be alright with 8 more Poutons".

The report continues in the second half

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