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Cod Widow's Diary Week 9
By: Chez Osborne
WELL, what can I say. I don't know were to start! Sadtwat hasn't stopped going on about the Liverpool game and the goal that someone called Jevons scored (which team does he play for?). I know you lot know the answer but it makes no difference to me, Sadman usually explains it all in detail anyway.
That's usually my queue to yawn and reach for another bottle of pills and the razor blades. Only kidding, we don't have any blades on account of Nicko coming home from matches suicidal so often.
Look, can anyone please explain to me why he and the rest of you keep going? You all know the outcome before you go don't you? Someone 3 Town 0. What's the point I say? Any answers (or good therapists) gladly received.
I have to eat my words for a while here, if the mighty bleedin' mariners, yawn, do get to play moan utd, Nicko has been instructed to take me with him. I have sworn allegiance to the black and white cause and all that - well it keeps him happy.
Not that I'm interested in the game though, I feel a trip to the Trafford Centre coming on, saddo will be having a heart attack before they even kick off, hehehehehehe. I'm not a glory hunter for this game either, more of a bargain hunter.........
Bad news next, Sadman has just found out that he can't have time off for the game if it's on a Tuesday. No chance if it's Arsenal but a mad dash if it's Manchester. I don't see the problem, the shops are open late at the Trafford Centre.
Nicko made my day the other day, we had a row. Well it was more like he listened while I ranted on at him. (I might add he is very talented, he can listen to me and read the Fishy at the same time, how does he do it?)
Anyway, back to the row, New Year's Day and its a nice dinner as per usual, he normally helps at this time of year, not this time though he says, off to Barnsley he says. Ooooohhhhh, me thinks.........he must be taking us all out for dinner somewhere special. Not so, dodgy pie and cold coffee at half time is on his menu.
The result was that he threatened to leave me, great news I am thinking, that's just made my day. Trouble is he went and spoilt it by saying he was only joking............Don't worry though, I will get revenge when I go shopping, I will make him tag along as well because you all know he just loves shopping, especially on a Saturday.
Time to go now but I have a word of warning for you all, Sadman has hinted that 'the coat' is making a comeback. If you spot the coat I have four dozen rotten eggs and tomatoes that need to be put to good use, you only have to ask......hehehehehe.
Cya next time,
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