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Stockport Report Card

By: Dr Fishy
Date: 16/11/2003

KNOCK knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? No, Dr Fishy! I'm back, with my terrible array of jokes and wit, and not forgetting my wooden cane.

Home > 2003-2004 Season > Report Cards > Stockport (h)

I said last week that anything other than a 3-0 win against Stockport would result in a few lashings-out. Yes, it's been a while since a Town player felt the full force of rhythmic beatings on his backside.

Davison: He didn't have to make any saves, just watched the ball hit a post on one occasion and watched the ball find the back of the net on another.

Grade: C+

McDermott: Didn't link up so well with Campbell down the right. However, it was a fairly solid performance by the captain.

Grade: C

Young: Made three good sliding tackles in the first half, but possibly too tall to play out wide. Looked nervous when approaching the halfway line.

Grade: C

Edwards: I like this young fellow. Someone behind me thinks his name is Eddie, forever saying he's 'Steady Eddie'.

Grade: B-

Crane: An immense performance from the lad who got booked in the last minute for being fouled one yard away from the linesman.

Grade: B+

Campbell: Some said he had a bad game, others said he was our best midfielder before being taken off. You know what Dr Fishy does when he can't make up his mind? Yes, that's correct

Grade: C+ (the 'I'll sit on the fence' grade)

Anderson: I was quite disappointed with the Scotsman, possibly distracted by the events at Hampden Park - and the shock score flash on Town's scoreboard.

Grade: C

Hamilton: He made quite a few poor passes, dallied on the ball for too long, and spends too much time sliding around on the grass because he never truly has the ball under control at any one time. Nevertheless, he worked hard.

Grade: C

Crowe: He set the standard last week against QPR and in my opinion he didn't follow it up. I'm sure he hid behind a bigger bloke in the first half.

Grade: C

Onuora: I don't think he was at the races. He was at Blundell Park, but not playing particularly well. Struggled in the air and with his first touch.

Grade: C-

Boulding: Could have had a couple of goals to add to his growing tally, but didn't get the breaks, although his all-round game was good.

Grade: C+


Mansaram: Held the ball up better than Onuora. His marker couldn't get to grips with him - and he scored the all-important equaliser.

Grade: B

Cas: As the game opened up, he found a bit more time and space down the right, but his delivery at times was woeful.

Grade: C+

That's it for this week. I'm unable to get to Brentford next week because I'll be at hospital having a hoover nozzle removed from a certain part of my anatomy following an ugly but bizarre incident when I accidentally got roped into playing a game of Truth or Dare.

Bye for now, folks!

Grade Guide

A*This is almost impossible to achieve as I will refuse to give anyone this grade - unless they score six goals and get opposing players sent off.
AThis is more possible to achieve, although the player must have had a brilliant game i.e. he can't have put a foot wrong all match.
A-The player must have performed superbly, setting up goals, scoring goals, making match-winning tackles etc.
B+The player played to a very high standard indeed having been influential throughout the 90 minutes.
BThis can be achieved if the player had a very good game overall but could be forgiven for making one or two minor mistakes.
B-The player put in a performance worthy of special mention for his efforts on the pitch or otherwise having a good game.
C+A mark for players who have had an average game but at the same time played well in patches and may have had an impact on the final score.
CAn average performance but not worthy of being dropped for the next game - a competent performance.
C-Start thinking about the player's attitude and commitment on the pitch. Showed little effort and was probably invisible for most of the match.
D+Poor game and realistically shouldn't feature in the next game.
DThis player shouldn't be playing in the near future.
D-The player deserves to be fined for his abysmal performance
EThe player should be sacked
F And then shot

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