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Do you support Cleethorpes Town?
17/01 Port Vale Part 2
By: Tony Butcher
OH, a shot from Vale. Ahh, thatâ€™s ok, itâ€™s from outside the box, drivelling inoffensively across the thick luscious green, green grass of Burslem and safely into the arms of Mary, I mean Davison. Let â€˜em shoot from long range. And it seems they had the same idea.
Port Vale 5 Grimsby Town 1
He set off towards goal, sucking Edwards, McDermott and Crowe towards him as he zoomed forwards. As he approached the edge of the penalty area he saw a friendly face unmarked on their right. Mr BRIDGE-WILKINSON took one touch, looked up and, from the edge of the penalty area dinked a delicate chip over Davison and into the centre of the goal. Some Town fans exploded with rage, the majority simply expelled what air they had left in their lungs and applauded a quite brilliantly taken goal. Just think Hoddle against Watford all those years ago.
The Town fans were all of a tither, confused, not knowing who to blame for what, and in that confusion quite a few missed the statutory moment of false hope. From the kick off, Town flew at Vale down the left. A dink, a head on, a turn, a one-two and Crowe was free behind the full back, inside the area. He crossed low into the near post, perhaps a dozen yards out, where JEVONS superbly steered a volley into the top left hand corner. Game on!
Well, not quite. Game dulled down more like, drifting towards half time with only the crumbling confidence of Simon Ford to occupy the mind. The poor delicate flower wilted, his knees almost knocking whenever the ball went near him, which was often as the front two were incapable of holding onto the ball. Or in Onuoraâ€™s case, getting near it. The referee didnâ€™t help by deciding that whenever Iffy did get the ball he must have fouled. Can we complain about that, sounds right doesnâ€™t it? There wasnâ€™t much going on, save another bit of rubbish defending by Anderson, who effectively flicked the ball out to the unmarked Paynter 20 yards out. Fortunately, Paynter completely miss hit the shot, though Davison still managed to struggle across his line and finger tip the ball away for a corner. And how can I forget Davisonâ€™s fly kick straight at Brooker, the ball ballooning off the strikerâ€™s back, Crowe cleared.
Somewhere close to 3:50, with many wondering where all this added time had come from, Davison come off his line and collected a through ball. Ah, surely last kick of the half, just a drop kick forward and time for some serious introspection into some cheap instant coffee. McPhee stood around near Davison as the blue-shirted oldster walked towards the edge of the area. Thump! A fly kick forward. Why is the linesman waving his flag? A free kick to Vale, right on the edge of the area, right in the centre. Seems Davison had managed to carry the ball out of his area in the process of drop kicking. Oh yeah, Groves out, sort it Grovesie. Itâ€™s your fault Furneaux for selling Pouton. Or how about Davison was silly, and Town a little unlucky? How often do linesman flag for those small technical infringements? All the Town players came back into the area. A huge wall was stretched in front of Davison, with Lipa left unmarked to the right. Vale tried the subtle approach, tapping the ball sideways and getting someone to whack it as hard as possible. You never know, their luck might be in. It was. The ball hit a Town player in the wall, diverting from left to right, bouncing down, spinning up and over Davison, onto the face of the crossbar, dropping vertically onto the line at the foot of the right hand post. Straight at the feet of PAYNTER who bundled it in from a yard out. From our perfect angle behind the gaol he appeared to have got in front of Ford before the free kick was struck, but hey, we donâ€™t get too many favours from linesman. All in all a bit of a freak goal to end a freaky half.
Half time: Port Vale 4 Grimsby Town 1
4-1 down, a stuffing, a terrible performance, gutless? Not really, three brilliantly struck goals and a complete farce of a freak of a fun filled fourth. Vale were a better team, with a couple of very good forwards, but in a normal game 2-0 would have been ever so slightly kind to them at half time. It was all very strange, but then again, when your luckâ€™s out...
Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk
"Adding water only makes fish wet."
The report continues in the Second Half.
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