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Question of the Week
Do you support Cleethorpes Town?
28/02 Barnsley 2nd Half
By: Tony Butcher
COLDICOTT was replaced by Hamilton at half time. And didnâ€™t it show. Barnsley were immediately in the ascendancy, territory was ceded with Hamilton standing away from his opponents, allowing them to turn, control and pass.
Grimsby Town 6 Barnsley 1
With about 20 minutes left Barnsley made a substitution, bringing on M Boulding, who played out on the left. He was booed, jeered and choi-oiked incessantly. He contributed nothing to Barnsleyâ€™s cause. With around 15 minutes left Town moved beautifully forward, with Hamilton bulldozing his way up the right. Jevons was unmarked out on the left, but Hamilton turned around and waltzed up a little cul de sac. The crowd growled, Hamilton passed to Daws who flipped the ball over to Barnard, who strode forward with intent. About 25 yards out Barnard took out his calculator and performed some elementary trigonometry, sliding a perfect pass an inch beyond Handysideâ€™s big toe. The ball travelled into the area and Jevons switched on his cruise control. He awaited a defender, shimmied, dropped a shoulder and sent the hapless arriviste into madness. Now just the â€™keeper to spellbind. Beresford walked forward, JEVONS, near the penalty spot, feinted to shoot, watched Marvellous Marlon drop to his left, and haughtily, sumptuously, exquisitely, caressed the ball into the centre of the goal. The artists exhibition was complete, to rave reviews. Barnsley players lay down before him and worshipped at his feet.
Again enquiries were made of Bouldingâ€™s numeracy skills, which he refused to display.
Now we could rest easy, for even Town could not mess this up. Oh sure Barnsley had a few attempts at goal, most notably through a couple of free kicks which they spent several days arranging before chipping into the empty seating behind Pettinger. Empty? Werenâ€™t there 1,500 there an hour go? Barely a quarter remained, the pain too much for the fickle followers. And when Barnsley werenâ€™t wafting the ball into plastic they were offside, always offside. It was as if the Town defenders knew what they were doing. How queer, as they say.
There was only one other Town effort of any note in the happy quarter hour that followed the sixth goal. Jevons placed a shot a couple of yards wide of Beresfordâ€™s right hand post after some flowing football down the right. Actually, it may have been earlier, oh, so what, it happened. Pettinger has a tendency to punch when challenged, which didnâ€™t cause any problems. Today, anyway. And, well that just about it. Unless you feel an urgent desire to have some Barnsley bookings described in detail? No, why bother, what a glorious day to be alive and support Grimsby Town. Of all the teams to stuff, Barnsley, a "team full of rejects". Oh what irony that their rejects played wonderfully for us.
This daft season careers off in another crazy direction. Barnsley were just so feeble it defied belief, but Town, eventually, were irresistible and ruthless. In fact Town did to the Tykes what has been done to us so often this year. Perhaps they are learning? Perhaps the weak minded have been weeded out?
Sometimes the facts should be left to speak for themselves. Is it a one off? The last dregs of life from a dying team? Something stirred, some players tried, Town have started to climb towards the light.
Oldham to Barnsley is such a short drive, but what an eventful journey.
Nickoâ€™s Man of the Match
Now who could it be? Did anyone do anything exceptional? Almost perfect (hey, he did miss a penalty), playing with passion, and purpose, he was omnipresent. He was everything the Phil-o-philes believed, his second coming is official, a crowning moment of genius. Playing like this he has the feet of cod. Phil Jevons, he floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee.
Markies Unman of the Match
Tony Crane. The boy is an irresponsible fool; this sending off being his pièce de résistance for a season full of stupidity. He doesnâ€™t deserve to be paid.
M Halsey. He didnâ€™t seem to get any decision wrong, he was incredibly good, Flabbergastingly decent. Unlike Marlon Beresford, nothing got past Mr H. Having been some days in preparation, a splendid time was guaranteed for all Grimbarians. Can you ref us every week? He gets 11.032. Quite staggering, eh?
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