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10/04 QPR Part 2
By: Tony Butcher
AFTER about 10 minutes Lawrence, who had been a big presence, smashing into Bircham at will, slid to challenge two QPR payers on the half way line. The second Hoopster missed the ball and made very firm contact with most parts of Lawrenceâ€™s legs.
Queens Park Rangers 3 Grimsby Town 0
Oi, wake up! Town are attacking. Just like old times, whatever they are. Last week? Last month? November? Anderson on the right probed and crossed, QPR half cleared but Coldicott used his personality and charm to persuade the Rangers defenders to return his property. They did. He passed the parcel to Antoine-Curier, who played a little chanson dâ€˜amour on his accordion before flicking the ball infield to Jevons, who hit a terrific first time shot which stripped away a few hairs from Camp Leeâ€™s head as it missed the angle of post and bar by a few centimetres. Where do we go from here? Nowhere, it wasnâ€™t a fantastic day. Town didnâ€™t do anything worth mentioning after this.
As the half meandered towards half time the homeboys began to press Town back. Ainsworth began to work off those extra pounds. Furlong was a right pest and managed to shoot on target, twisting and hooking a shot straight at Fettis from around the penalty spot after some flicks and tricks by Ainsworth and Gallen. But, to all the world except Town fans, it looked like a stone bonker 0-0. Both sides were degrees of poor, by their own standards, if it be possible to define a Town standard this year. Gallen was booked for diving over Ford and Coldicott, looking for a penalty. He was probably booked for stupidity - not only was he way outside the box but he would have been free in a very dangerous position. Crowe tried to break the tedium with a comic cut, chesting a long cross back, not to Fettis as he believed, but right into the path of Furlong 8 yards out. Crowe turned on the turbo boost and rescued himself from ignominy. Something to do, I suppose. Crosses looped through the area, unimpeded by hooped heads. Cureton managed to thigh one wide and high, but apart from that Rangers bodies were absent from the penalty area.
QPR fans amused themselves with ref taunting, baying at his correct decisions and laughing at the compensating rubbishness that followed. With about three minutes left to halftime (ignoring the 3 hours of additional time required for all the injuries) Crowe challenged Ainsworth way out on the left, about 35 yards out. The ref and linesman managed to persuade themselves that this was a foul, the foul play being, presumably, that Crowe had volleyed the ball clear without touching Ainsworth. As the players prepared the inevitable lump into the box Ainsworth flung out his left arm, bashing Jevons in the face. Oh, just ignore that eh? The ball sailed goalwards as Fettis took a couple of steps out of his goal and Ainsworth jumped into, and at, the giant gnome. Fettis dropped the ball as Ainsworth slobbered near him. A couple of QPR players dashed forward and FURLONG poked the ball in from somewhere near the penalty spot. Around 14,000 people were happy, with a small knot of fury swamped by the general delirium. The Town players pursued the referee, who didnâ€™t give a fig.
Nothing else happened in the half, except that Antoine-Curier got booked for dissent. Perhaps the black and white knight was talking backwards, making the green knave go off his head? So there you are, typical Town eh? Rubbish game, should be 0-0, but something daft happens. Armstrong looked most uncomfortable in midfield, being rarely near the ball and when he was he was a ducking stool, lifting this leg up and wafting the ball high and hopelessly long. Coldicott did the work of two, possibly three, men whilst the back four were relatively untroubled. Forget about the "strikers" - two little boys, each had a wooden horse. Antoine-Curier needs a couple of seconds for the instructions to be sent from head to legs. Either they get lost in translation or heâ€™s not on broadband yet. Rowan started adequately but ran out of steam and strength after heâ€™d been poleaxed. It was like playing with nine men really.
Half time: Queens Park Rangers 1 Grimsby Town 0
The second half was bound to be an exercise in futility, the only hope being that QPR would get themselves into a nervous tizzy and score a few own goals.
Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk
"Thereâ€™s a man with a Kennyâ€™s Greatest Hits CD over there."
The report continues in the Second Half.
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