Question of the Week
Do you support Cleethorpes Town?
The Slade Diary - The First Week
By: Mark Dillerstone
RUSSELL Slade has been keeping a written diary of his stint as Town manager, we at the Fishy have been given exclusive access to this diary and these extracts have been taken from it.
Asked to go for an interview at GTFC. Quite excited at the prospect of getting a chance at an ambitious club. Told chairman and he said it was OK. Went home did some research.
Arrived at Victoria Park Goole at 9:45 was told they didn't need a manager, that they were an ambitious club and had I tried Grimsby. Wow Grimsby, a league club, no time for any research, I'll just have to wing It.
Strange sort of interview. The interviewer was an old ventriloquists dummy sat on a younger guys lap. The young guy asked the questions and the dummy just kept saying "We need more fans through the gate" Anyway neither of them seemed to know what they were on about and I got the job.
Had first team meeting and was introduced to my assistant, Graham, he seems to know a lot about my six players. Also a couple of young lads have signed. One of the lads was crying in the meeting, he kept going on about how he wanted Paul back, I asked Graham his name, turns out he is called Macca.
Had Press Conference, just gave 'em the same old stuff you know how proud I am etc. etc.
Quiet day settling in. Wanted to buy a player but the ventriloquists dummy told me not to bother and that he handled that sort of thing, then went off muttering something about Jevons and reserves and rotting? Took a look on the clubs Message Board but couldn't understand half of the posts. Can't say I liked the ones I could understand.
The ventriloquists dummy put his head through my door shouted "Mitchell you're sacked" and then buggered off. I haven't seen him since. Gave my list of players to Mr. Fenty who said he'd pass it to the chairman.
Found my list of players crumpled up in the Car Park. Went to look for a house. I asked the players what were the best areas of Town but they had no idea as they all seem to live in Yorkshire.
Had a long talk with Graham about the previous two seasons, we had a good laugh. Had another chat with the team, Tony Crane kicked me and called me a bald bastard, that's the sort of attitude I like. Season ticket prices announced, great the money will soon be trickling in.
Found another web site to look at, but think I'll stick to the official club one. Head shaving. Went to see the Physio but couldn't find him. Had a word with Mr. Fenty but he said I should really speak to the chairman as he knew all about running a football club.
Thinking I might have been better off staying at Scarborough. Never mind. I'll give it a go now I'm here. Give Warnock a ring, he says he may have a couple of players for me. Mr. Fenty gave me my budget. Rang Warnock again and told him not to bother.
Another instalment of Russell's diaries will appear as soon as anything actually happens.
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