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3Cambridge Utd6313
6Notts County6210
9Accrington Stanley619
10Crawley Town619
21Leyton Orient6-44
24Newport County6-71

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Coq Au Vin: Notts County Report

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 08/12/2004

STILL, chill, pleasant evening, around 200 Countyians murmuring in the Osmond Stand. The Mighty Mariner’s pulled; two little chicks all of a flutter. What crowd? This crowd: everyone arrived late.

Home > 2004-2005 Season > Reports > Notts Co (h)

Urgh, 4-4-2 again. No Jones! Williams, McDermott, Whittle. Forbes, Bull, Crowe, Fleming, Pinault, Gordon, Cramb and Parkinson. Substitutes were Coldicott, Reddy, Sestanovich, Jones and Hockless. Four full backs good; two wingers bad?

No Town hug, County huddle. They wear Babycham Blue. They look tall.

Dish of the Day : L’Escargot aux grenouilles with garlic butter. That’s easy for you to say. Coq Au Vin. That’s easier for you to cook.

1st half

Town kicked off towards Osmond Stand. Pass left, pass right, sideways, upways, downways, alongways, ways and means, ways to win? Two minutes tick by, Macca fouled. First stop in play, not even a throw in. Weird.

Ah, sumptuousness and simplicity, Jane Austen’s unfinished novel. One touch, two touches, pass, move, Pinault flicking, Parky rolling, Cramb stroking Crowe free down the right. To the bye line, back, Cramb, first time, thwack, ooof. Ball hits ‘keeper, no royals involved. Parky wriggle, Parky shot, keep your socks on, ‘keeper unruffled.

Six minutes gone, Bull intercepts and roams down the left. To Gordon, a scuffly flick with the outside of his boot and the ball dribbled slowly, slowly towards the corner of the County penalty area. Bull ambles, Baudet agonises over his choice of cardigan. A mis-hit backpass, BULL sliding, the ball in the net. We laugh, we happy, we happy few.

A County shot! Wide, handsomely wide.

Not much going on baby.

Wake up Town! Crowe trots back, winger waddles on, ball played up their left, Town stretched. Ay-up, what’s this? A floaty floater floated floatily from left to right. Pipe free, Bull and Gordon dozing, crossed, cleared, no danger. Danger! OAKES traduced the ball forward from about eight miles out. The ball wobbled to Williams’ left, then dropped to his right. Right over the flapper and into the net. Advice offered to ‘keeper, not taken. "We want Lehman on."

Dive! Dive! Dive! Enemy planes at eight o’clock. Corner, corner, corner, off the line, through the line, away from near the line, bodies flung, hearts strung, grumble, mumble, not so humble pies thrown at Town. Panic, fury, furious panic. Terrible.

15 minutes of nothingness, Town had their 15 minutes of blame. Route one nonsense, route one to oblivion central. Stop it, pass it, move on.

The bad dream was over, football returned. Passing down the left, through the centre, Cramb turned and Crowe was free down the right. Running on, running on, from the half way line, to the area, into the area, drifting wide, drifting wider, shooting, rolling the ball against the ‘keeper’s legs. Town , Town, Town: surging, sweeping, swishing, crushing. Corners, crosses, blocks, hacks. County sinking. Gordon crossing low, Parky pokes onto the post. More crosses cleared, shot! Handball! Shot again, another handball! Ricocheting across the area, Gordon free, ball bouncing, ‘keeper plunging, Deano lifto the ballo overo. Crowe, wiggling his hips, past three, into the area, blasting over. Seagulls winged in Market Square.

Scoreboard stuck.

Ah, more old-style Town, County ripped on the right, ball pulled back the from bye line, purring Pinault prangs the ball against the post; throw in to County.

Could have been six, should have been three, was only one. Not great, adequate.

Stu’s Half Time Toilet Talk

"Indolence is art"
"Who needs verbs when you have emotion"
"Where’s the toilet roll?"

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The report continues in the Second Half.

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