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What They Got For Xmas

By: The Fishy Jester
Date: 25/12/2004

THE Fishy has this morning visited all the Town players to see what they got for Christmas, and there have been some surprising findings.

Anthony Williams: An alarm clock: to stop mistakes late in games
Paul Fraser: a Gameboy - to play while sitting on the bench/in the stands
John McDermott and Justin Whittle: tickets to see Peter Pan at the theatre: to inspire them
Simon Ramsden: the captain's armband: because I have heard him actually shout in games and lead the back 3/4/5/whatever
Tony Crane: anger management therapy: his main problem cured instantly!
Dean Gordon and Terrell Forbes: a house in the Grimsby area: to make them stay
Rob Jones: Tony Adams' autobiography - from laughing stock to England skipper!
Ronnie Bull: a permission slip: not to play in reserve games (and thus not get injured in them)
Stacy Coldicott and Terry Fleming: a DVD by Frank Lampard: how to score goals from midfield
Thomas Pinault: a minder, when he gets man-marked we play badly
Graham Hockless: a loan spell with a team that actually play him, to enlarge or explode the 'Hockless is great' myth
Andy Parkinson: a map of Blundell Park: with emphasis on where the goal is
Michael Reddy: a copy of July and August editions of the Grimsby Evening Telegraph, so he can read all the praise Slade heaped on him and be inspired
Ashley Sestanovich and David Soames: some sort of neck brace: to keep their heads up when they run
Colin Cramb: a strike partner called Martin Gritton: self-explanatory
Darren Mansaram: body building equipment: make him scarier to defenders
Greg Young:, Kirk Wheeler, Ashley Hildred: a joint column in the Grimsby Evening Telegraph: so we can find out how their various loan spells have been going
Gio Carchedi: a non-league loan spell - he must be feeling left out
Glen Downey: nothing, what's he ever given us!?!?
Graham Rodger: A copy of Championship Manager 2005 - it's the closest he'll get to the real thing.
Rusell Slade: A Who's Who of Stockport's Reserve side, to help him pick loan signings.

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