League Two Form Guide
Question of the Week
Do you support Cleethorpes Town?
29/12 Lincoln Part 2
By: Tony Butcher
"HOOF". Yes, we get the drift, as the ball sails forward. Lincoln players didnâ€™t even look where they were kicking it, but punts werenâ€™t punted aimlessly forward. They played to a training ground plan, knowing someone would be somewhere, a forward knowing a ball would be kicked into a particular place.
Lincoln City 0 Grimsby Town 0
None of this scuffly, shanked, sliced and woeful wafting that we have to put up with. It was like theyâ€™d actually practiced shooting, as though it was important or something. Cuh, these lower league types, they just donâ€™t understand do they. They probably think football is about scoring goals. How sweet and innocent, eh?
Ooh, Macca raiding, sending Crowe free inside the area. Shoot, shoot, for ch.... Urgh, rubbish fall as a defenders swished away danger. If youâ€™re going to *simulate* donâ€™t fall like youâ€™re praying towards Macca. We donâ€™t have to simulate to accumulate, especially with our fantastical statistical record of penalty missing. A Town penalty is only the same as a Lincoln goal kick, more danger to us than them. Did Lincoln have anymore shots? Nope, the ball was banged in relentlessly, but Town held firm, and were relatively comfortable. It looked like Town had down some thinking and planning, for whenever Big Futch ambled up Jones held his hand and either of the wing backs stood in front, to intercept the dinkled dopples. Lincoln just couldnâ€™t get their pub football going.
Just think, if some Town fans had their way this would have been Town. Itâ€™s cheaper to watch it down Bradley pitches. Big Keith knows we demand something more.
Oh Whittle, Whittle why? Air shot, mis-kick, danger created through Whittle woe. Inside the Town six yards box he completely missed the ball, then sliced it against Ramsden. Rammy the Ramster tutted, rolled his eyes and calmly walked away with the ball at his feet. The thought hadnâ€™t occurred to Lincolnites that a professional would do such a thing on his own goal line. A minute later and another Whittle mis-shaped fish finger emerged from the night shift production line. On the right touchline he turned infield and stroked a defence-splitting pass behind Ramsden and way in front of Jones. Green was so surprised he forgot to move his feet. Luckily, Jones arrived and saved the day with a full on man-sized three-ply tackle that swept all before it.
There were two minutes of added time; added, presumably, because someone sneezed in the Stacy West Stand, which actually points north, but there you are. Sestanovich got himself booked for having a bit of flying furry fun with Francis Green. Stuff of nothing, two garden strimmers fighting over the same weed.
Half time: Lincoln City 0 Grimsby Town 0
And that was the first half. Much stargazing, if not hairgazing. We must applaud the linesman running the Town defence, right underneath the Town supporters. He managed to get through the whole half without giving an offside. Tremendous willpower, immense dedication to the cause of incompetence, flying in the face of facts. Well done that man. A typical fourth division scrap, much clattering and back-chattering with a lenient referee allowing the studs to flow. The Boxing Day duds had a ball, if not the ball, with a lot of Greco-Roman wrestling going on. One for the impurists amongst us. But City hadnâ€™t overpowered us; Lincolnâ€™s limitations were exposed by our defensive adequacy.
Their fans are very quiet.
Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk
"I parked opposite The Nail Fairy."
The report continues in the Second Half.
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