League Two Form Guide
Question of the Week
How much would you accept for Omar Bogle?
|Starter For 10|
09/04 Wycombe Part 2
By: Tony Butcher
I prefer hard cheese myself but, there you are, everyone is different. A bit of Wensleydale, Gromit, with a soupÃ§on of pickle. Is this an allegory or an elegy? What's it to do with football? About as much as this match was.
Grimsby Town 0 Wycombe Wanderers 0
Ooh, what's that? No, nothing, a crisp packet blew across the goal. Are crisp packets the modern version of tumbleweeds? Especially flaming steak flavour.
A tray of sandwiches walked along the front of the Pontoon. Not literally, that may have made page 9 of the Evening Standard. Is this Fenty's way of saying thank you to the few: free egg and cress sarnies for the masses? Nooooo, they're off to the dentists in the main stand; the gliterati munching and crunching as Town burns.
For the fourth time Tyson fell to earth clutching his head. Contact lens displaced? Ear fallen off again? Hair out of place?
And then the moment came. Forty minutes and Town had a shot. A bona fide effort, one where a player deliberately attempted to place the ball within the posts guarded by Talia. Gritton, on the left edge of their area, chested down to Parkinson who pirouetted and hooked the ball twelve or thirteen years wide of goal. Hey, we're gonna have to claim that as a shot. There are just a few crumbs left on this table, beggers can't be choosers.
Kevin Drinkell walked by; traditional shout for old boots to be found. I suppose these ex-players would be offended if someone didn't say it.
On half time Parkinson was released behind the Wycombe defence on the centre right. Williamson took a shine to Parky's shirt, admiring the texture and smelling the quality hand stitching. Parkinson eventually fell over, the referee eventually gave Town a free kick twenty yards out to the right. Williamson was booked, could have been sent off, but wasn't. No-one is that bothered these days, let's save our righteous anger for April 23rd. Town tried a trick but failed miserably. Ramsden hung about looking like he was going to wallop it but Parkinson touched it to Coldicott, who rolled it back for the shiny scalped Scouser to trundle the ball slowly along the ground to Talia, who briefly broke off from his yoga session to scoop the ball up. Yeah, that worked. Great.
I nearly forgot: three Town passes, Macca free, Macca shoots, Macca demoted in the peerage. From twenty yards he wafted the ball against the row F steps, 10 yards wide of goal.
Two minutes of added time. Wycombe attack, the Town clearance ballooned off one of them back into the area. Claridge shambled free and from a narrow angle about five yards out tried to swish the ball goalwards. Williams came out and saved superly. Look on your Dulux colour chart, you'll find superly just below superb, and above good. A sort of mint green, if you will.
Half time: Grimsby Town 0 Wycombe Wanderers 0There you are, satisfied with that? No, we weren't either. A defensive Town created nothing, with Wycombe getting just three chances, from a poor bit of linesmanship, a corner and a lucky rebound. Rotten is the word. Ramsden didn't know where to stand, resulting in Senda getting acres of room into which to run, with Town having no attacking options down the left. Gritton and Parkinson spent most of their time doing "link play" in midfield, so there was no-one up front on the few occasions Town got within thirty yards of the Wycombe penalty area. You know the score, you know the team, you know it all.
You know the very worst thing is that nobody expects the Grimsby inquisition anymore.
Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk
"So the Vatican has animatronic Popes-in-a-box?"
The report continues in the Second Half.
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