Please, please let it be a Town fanatic

One UK lottery player has won the £122m EuroMillions jackpot.

Please, please, please let it be a Town fanatic then all our problems are solved.

Crazy amount of money, what a life changer.

Can't be me, I don't do it  

Quoted from promotion plaice

One UK lottery player has won the £122m EuroMillions jackpot.

Please, please, please let it be a Town fanatic then all our problems are solved.

Crazy amount of money, what a life changer.

Can't be me, I don't do it  

The good news it is a town fan, the bad news is his name is John Shelton Fenty.

Fck Town - I'm going to get a seat next to Piers Morgan. P.S. I'll just buy you a new ground.

Read this and thought I would check my e mails.

Guess what I have got one from the lottery saying I have won a prize.

I don't know what to do with my 3-10p winnings.

Quoted from grimsby pete

Read this and thought I would check my e mails.

Guess what I have got one from the lottery saying I have won a prize.

I don't know what to do with my 3-10p winnings.

Keep hold of it. The way we are going, you’ll be able to buy town with it in the near future.

It was me. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll buy £800k worth of shares, lend the club another two million, and guarantee overdraft facilities of up to £300k.  As long as I get to call the shots of course. And as long as the support let’s trust give me another £200k worth of shares. And if any buggerwants to buy me out I’ll happily sell out after 18 years, no tyre kickers, and I’ll only want to stay on in a board capacity until I’m paid every penny back of the loan.

Oh, and I want use of the club’s website whenever I’ve ha a bit too much Lambrini and want to say a few words.

Quoted from KingstonMariner

It was me. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll buy £800k worth of shares, lend the club another two million, and guarantee overdraft facilities of up to £300k.  As long as I get to call the shots of course. And as long as the support let’s trust give me another £200k worth of shares. And if any buggerwants to buy me out I’ll happily sell out after 18 years, no tyre kickers, and I’ll only want to stay on in a board capacity until I’m paid every penny back of the loan.

Oh, and I want use of the club’s website whenever I’ve ha a bit too much Lambrini and want to say a few words.

There really are some cranks on here, as if anybody would do that.

Ok Kingston that’s fine by me. As long as you pay for you and your pals drinks and meals when your at BP

Quoted from KingstonMariner

It was me. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll buy £800k worth of shares, lend the club another two million, and guarantee overdraft facilities of up to £300k.  As long as I get to call the shots of course. And as long as the support let’s trust give me another £200k worth of shares. And if any buggerwants to buy me out I’ll happily sell out after 18 years, no tyre kickers, and I’ll only want to stay on in a board capacity until I’m paid every penny back of the loan.

Oh, and I want use of the club’s website whenever I’ve ha a bit too much Lambrini and want to say a few words.

Don't forget to buy a new ladder so you can climb up and repair the main stand roof and floodlights when a bulb fails.

Quoted from KingstonMariner

It was me. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll buy £800k worth of shares, lend the club another two million, and guarantee overdraft facilities of up to £300k.  As long as I get to call the shots of course. And as long as the support let’s trust give me another £200k worth of shares. And if any buggerwants to buy me out I’ll happily sell out after 18 years, no tyre kickers, and I’ll only want to stay on in a board capacity until I’m paid every penny back of the loan.

Oh, and I want use of the club’s website whenever I’ve ha a bit too much Lambrini and want to say a few words.

How are you at deconstructing flags held by small children?

Flag deconstruction, no problem.

Now you’ll see where that Fenty was an amateur. He’s missed opportunities to pull in more money from our loyal fanbase. We can get them to repair the stand roofs and change floodlight bulbs and pay for the privilege!

What we’ll do is market it as the chance to re-create great moments from Town’s history. Relive Exeter at home in 1972 and go up on the roof of the stand! Chesterfield away in 1990? Up the floodlight pylon. While they’re up there they can replace the bulbs.

We can also save on grounds maintenance costs. Fans can recreate Bournemouth away 2009 by carrying me around the pitch on their shoulders, and flatten all those divots at the same time.

I’ve got a deal with Nuttalls to keep their donkeys on the pitch on non-match days. They get free pasture and the pitch doesn’t need mowing, plus we get all that free fertiliser!

Finally, they can pay to play “scratch the non-chairman’s motor”. I’ll park the ex-wife’s car outside, put a sticker in the windscreen saying “£85,000” and Bob’s your uncle.

Quoted from KingstonMariner

Flag deconstruction, no problem.

Now you’ll see where that Fenty was an amateur. He’s missed opportunities to pull in more money from our loyal fanbase. We can get them to repair the stand roofs and change floodlight bulbs and pay for the privilege!

What we’ll do is market it as the chance to re-create great moments from Town’s history. Relive Exeter at home in 1972 and go up on the roof of the stand! Chesterfield away in 1990? Up the floodlight pylon. While they’re up there they can replace the bulbs.

We can also save on grounds maintenance costs. Fans can recreate Bournemouth away 2009 by carrying me around the pitch on their shoulders, and flatten all those divots at the same time.

I’ve got a deal with Nuttalls to keep their donkeys on the pitch on non-match days. They get free pasture and the pitch doesn’t need mowing, plus we get all that free fertiliser!

Finally, they can pay to play “scratch the non-chairman’s motor”. I’ll park the ex-wife’s car outside, put a sticker in the windscreen saying “£85,000” and Bob’s your uncle.

You could also sell dart boards with your picture on, MUGS with fans pictures on for a tenner, and have fans queue up to have their programme signed by you @ £10 a pop. The opportunities are endless, you could make Fenty look like an amateur.

Quoted from DB

You could also sell dart boards with your picture on, MUGS with fans pictures on for a tenner, and have fans queue up to have their programme signed by you @ £10 a pop. The opportunities are endless, you could make Fenty look like an amateur.

As saviour and principal finder, actually scratch that, Saviour and Principal Funder (that will be my title) grateful fans will not want to throw darts at my photo.

They can, for a premium price (got to prove your loyalty) buy a car ride while I talk about which manager was a fruitcake, who did what to whom at the Christmas party and which players will get a pay cut at the end of the season. That’ll save the manager having that difficult conversation and the player’s form will drop off this proving what a good idea it was to cut his pay. Genius!