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So, To The Future?
By: Terry Badger
TODAY'S sacking of Graham Rodger was no big surprise; it is hard to sum up his record as Town boss in one word without that word being an expletive.
But let's wish him all the best for the future eh, after all, he's Town through and through so they say, and hey, he's a nice guy! Funny though, it seems to me as though the nicest guys in life also seem to be the most unsuccessful.
Let s take a look at the other end of the footballing spectrum the successful managers. Jose Mourinho? Alex Ferguson? Arsene Wenger? Not an outwardly nasty bloke?
My mate Dave on the other hand, is a nice guy. His career peaked however, when he was allowed to put the salt on the chips at McDonalds; only to mess that up and find himself demoted back to his previous position of Executive Sanitation Advisor or toilet cleaner for those of you who want to cut to the chase. Perhaps he could put in a good word for our Graham, I hear he s looking for a job.
So, to the future? Let s be honest to ourselves, the position of first-team manager of Grimsby Town FC is currently about as attractive as 26 stone female amputee with a severe case of acne taking a poop! But maybe, in my frankly disappointing attempt at a clever analogy, I've stumbled across a cunning plan.
Think about it; in order to engage in intercourse with the aforementioned not-so-lovely-lady, you d have to be bloody drunk! And that's it let's get all of the candidates so damn peshed that former Town pin-up Lee Nogan would look sexy!
It would be a good initiation anyway, because if any prospective manager isn't an alcoholic now, they will be by the time we've finished with them. I myself have started to pour brandy on my cornflakes on a morning, and I m only a fan!
Who do we appoint though? Alan Buckley? Wouldn't be my first choice, but he'd get my support nonetheless. I would however, be taking the time to tighten up my anti-theft locking wheel nuts just in case he decides to bring his slightly light-fingered son along for the ride. I'd be surprised if it were to be Buckley however, he s been out of football for three years now and would he want the stress of managing an underachieving football club at this stage; I very much doubt it.
An experienced manager you say? Experienced enough to know that joining Town at this moment could well be career suicide? After all, the last two managers to be sacked at BP, Paul Groves and Nicky Law have failed to find another job in football management since. Graham Rodger looks very likely to follow that trend.
That may well be because all three of the above were nigh on useless when it came to running a football team, but avoid that and you re asking for an entirely different breed of gaffer. Experienced and talented? You'd have to add skin and desperate to that list for us to stand a chance of finding anyone who'd give us the time of day. Still, we're assembling a nice advert for the job centre.
Experienced, talented, skint and desperate manager wanted to take care of ever-so-slightly rubbish, 4th division football team
I can see a queue outside of Blundell Park now. Unfortunately, that s just a queue of disgruntled season ticket holders wanting their money back. Ah well, beggars can't be choosers.
Ultimately though, the point I m making is that we have to be realistic. We aren't going to sign a top, big name manager. We don t have the money, nor the status. That isn't the fault of John Fenty, who s whilst is not blameless in this mess, is not the anti-Christ either.
We all need to pull together. Whoever takes up the vacancy, be it Stuart Watkiss, Alan Buckley or God help us, Peter Beagrie; we need to be behind them all the way. This appointment might not be the savior of this club. The new manger may not take us back to the summit of the Championship. But if the new manager keeps us up then it'll have been a success.
Let s get 100% behind this club for the remainder of this season. The football may continue to be dire, but we've got to do everything we can to keep Town in the Football League, because if we don t it s highly likely it'll be curtains for this club. And I do mean it when I say that I d rather watch Town get spanked by dross like MK Dons on a Saturday afternoon than go shoe shopping with the missus. The very thought of that sends a shiver down my spine.
Come on Town let's 'kin do it!
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