Points Failure, Town Derailed: Swindon Report

Grimsby Town 1 Swindon Town 2
16 Sep 2003, Nationwide League Division 2

The pre-match warm up was the typical tipping and tapping, though it was noticeable that the "front 6" played a game of one touch football with each other. It’s never too late to practice.

Town lined up in the usual 4-4-2 formation, as shown. The only changes to the previous game, where something happened to bring attention to the club, apparently, was the return of the Mac and Bolder for Groves. If 100 people in a field can buzz, then they did when the team was announced sans Groves.

The bright, new, shiny scoreboard flashed out a message to the fans, accompanied by the booming tannoy, or was it the voice of the Mysterons? It was just about this ambulance nonsense, with the club inviting the fans to join them in a fight for truth using the simple sword of justice and trusty Grimsby sense of fair play. Together we shall cut this cancer from the heart of British journalism. Alternatively, they could just send a copy of "All The Presidents Men" to the GET: you need a second source to print a story, remember.

So there we are then, a glorified reserve game atmosphere, though as kick off got closer there was an attempt to get behind the team with some cheering and chanting. We tried, in adversity we, the fans, tried. One tried too hard, with amazing monochrome hair, like a walking allegory, black on one side, white on the other.

1st half

Town kicked off towards the Osmond Stand with a nebulous hoof upfield by Barnard. And that was probably the high point of the game.

Somewhere early on Town almost had a chance, when a cross from the left was flicked on into the centre of the penalty area. Cas was unmarked, perhaps 10 yards out, swung his left boot and back-heeled the ball with his right to set up a Swindon counter-attack. Aimless punting, artless crunching, the game was a shapeless mess, though the hint of danger was there from Swindon. They moved purposefully in attack with much movement from Parkin and Mooney, supported by midfielders, especially the tricky Milner. Whenever Crane and Ford challenged the crowd winced, expecting disaster, but Ford wasn’t too bad. Unlike Mr Crane, who wallowed around like a sad hippopotamus, miles from his mud. How can a six foot five man fail to win a header for 30 minutes? Send your answer on a postcard to your local MP and win a fridge. Mooney simply Gabbiadini’d Crane away, using hip and hope. The referee saw no wrong in this 70s disco dancing around the Town handbag and Swindon were regularly on their way. A handbag?

Around the 17th minute the Town defence finally imploded, courtesy of a misunderstanding between our C-list celebrities, Crane and Campbell. The ball was lobbed up the Swindon left and Parkin flicked the ball on as Crane retreated. Campbell saw Crane backtrack and stopped. Crane saw Campbell stop and increased his rate of deceleration. They both stood and stared at each other as Mooney zipped through this Hellespont and ran off towards goal. About 12 yards out and well wide of goal Mooney dragged a low shot across Davison, who parried the ball away.